Rebuilding trust is a process of digging up and letting go of the "garbage" that distrust foments, and churns up when you feel unsafe and afraid of being hurt in a relationship.
Perhaps the idea of digging through garbage is repulsive to you? What if you knew there was gold hidden there? Would you then be willing to dig through the "garbage" to find the trust that is worth more than gold?
I'm all for it! Here is my experience to encourage you to dig in and find the gold that awaits you:
Looking at the Garbage
to Let it Go and Rebuilt Trust
As I’m driving, I notice the red service warning light turning on in the dashboard of my car. The one with the picture of the wrench that means "This needs fixing."
I sure don’t want to see it. Who does? I hear it speaking in the back of my head saying, “Danger, danger, Will Robinson.”
I notice that a part of my mind just doesn’t want to deal with the possible mess ahead: worry, time and money spent getting it fixed. This service light also adds fuel to some thoughts I’ve been having around trust.
You see, the Change the Oil light has also recently been coming on when I start the car and not turning off right away like it used to.
This would not normally bring distrust or suspicion except that two weeks ago we took the car in to get the oil changed.
In addition, the auto dealership we service our car with went through major changes as a result of the shakeup in the auto industry, and the previous time I had our car serviced with them they told me it needed new front brakes.
Instead of having the work done there I decided to get a second price quote from a brake specialist, who told me, “The brakes are fine. They still have 10,000 miles left on them.”
So given my experience with the brakes, I allow my mind to entertain thoughts that maybe the new people at the dealership are not very honest. What if they purposely messed up our car to get more money from us?” It’s a possibility, right?
I pause to notice the garbage my negative thoughts are bringing up and where that is leading me.
Tapping to Rebuild Trust
So I start
EFT tapping
to stop myself before going into this detour into fear.
I tap, "So even though, I need to take the car in to get checked, but I’m not sure I can trust them and I’m afraid I’ve been scammed, I deeply and completely accept myself."
I continue, "Even though this service light means trouble to me, what if the car breaks down while I’m driving? I deeply and completely accept myself."
Another round on, "So, even though I’m not feeling completely safe driving the car with the light on, but I’m afraid the repairs are going to cost more than I can afford right now, I deeply and completely accept myself."
I keep tapping for another half an hour because other issues (more garbage) show up around money and being taken advantage of.
The next day my husband sees the service light, so I’m forced to address the problem directly. I say, “It came on yesterday. Let's look at what the auto manual says.”
“This light is used for non-emission related failures. Malfunctions often will be indicated by the system before any problem is apparent, which may prevent more serious damage…”
My husband comments, “I wonder if they did anything to the car when we had it serviced? People do that, you know.”
I respond, “Funny, I was thinking the same thing yesterday. But really, we don’t know that, right? So why go there?”
He agrees, and I grudgingly accept that I need to take the car in for service.
At 5:00 p.m. that evening, I go pick up my son from school and guess what? NO service light! Wow, I am not sure what to think. I drive around doing errands and NO service light! I decide to cancel the appointment I had made for the next day.
Two days later I’m reflecting on the whole incident as I drive. No car service lights. I feel safe. I think to myself, “Did my EFT tapping on the mistrust and fears I had around the service light showing up have anything to do with the light clearing?"
After all anything is possibly, why not? I really want to believe this and my thoughts continue, "Maybe this is a small EFT initiated miracle? At the least I have a good experience to write about.”
I am driving feeling good, savoring my small miracle. Then, as if out of nowhere, I see the service light come up again!
A feeling of loss arises within me. It feels like my small miracle just got taken away, just when I was feeling pretty sure it was for real. So, here is more garbage to dig through. I start tapping on the Karate Chop point:
“Even though I feel sad, like something was taken away from me, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I was feeling so special a minute ago and now I’m not, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even thought it feels like I am not worthy of receiving these miracles, I deeply and completely accept myself…”
Going to the top of the head and doing the short-cut points I say the following reminder phrases:
“I feel this sadness, like I lost something good. I feel this sadness, like I’m not worthy of receiving good things. I feel sad that I lost that feeling of being special, like I lost special favor with God. I feel like God doesn’t love me. I feel discriminated by God.”
I stop here to laugh at the junk that has just showed up. I hope you get the joke. I apparently believes that God is guilty of discrimination!!!
How can a God that is unconditional love discriminate? It is not possible because God would not be unconditional love then! It is the incredible contraction that makes it funny to me.
But at some point, I must have concluded or accepted this about God's love or I wouldn’t be feeling this way. I tune in to this feeling.
I am believing that God does not love equally and the proof is the special favor he gives. I am perceiving that those that have more than me or have what I want, are obviously more special to God than I am.
Here is the craziness, when something bad happens that I don’t want, like the light coming back on, to me this means that God doesn’t love me!
Wow, I didn’t know I was holding on to this garbage about myself and God.
This is a BIG insight! I sense this finding is very important to my life. I feel like I just found gold!
What? My garbage just turned to gold? Yes, because to me it means freedom, freedom, and freedom from difficult emotions, once I clear it with EFT! So, I tap excitedly at the Karate Chop:
“Even though, a part of me believes and feels that God discriminates, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"So, even though it feels like God doesn’t love me when bad things happen or when I loose the good things (or people) that I have, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"So, even though I interpret the service light coming back on as proof that God finds me unworthy of his miracles and his love, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Going to the top of the head and doing the short-cut points, I say the following reminder phrases:
“This feeling and belief that God discriminates, and that he doesn’t love me because in my mind he grants special favor only to some. This feeling and belief that God has judged me unworthy to receive good things and the proof is in the light coming back on."
"This feeling and belief that when good things end or are taken away, it somehow means I am unworthy of them, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"It feels like the service light coming back on is proof that it was too good to be true, and that I am really unworthy of these small miracles.”
There is more tapping that needs to be done here, but I stop because I want to tell my husband what I discovered.
“Well, the service light came back on.” I tell him, noticing how this no longer has a negative emotional charge with it.
I continue, “The important thing is that I tapped on it and found the belief that God doesn’t love me because it feels like he is showing special favor to others.”
He said, “But I thought you believed ever since you were a child that God loves you?
I said excitedly, “Yes! That is the great thing about the discovery, this opposing belief was unconscious and now it is not!!
It now occurs to me how widespread this belief is! Nations believe they are under God’s Grace as long as everything is going well, but when things start falling apart, the belief is, “The country is in dis-Grace and the people are not worthy of special favor.”
I also see how this belief is blocking a client of mine because he is afraid of hoping that his issue will clear because he is afraid of what it will mean if it comes back. Perhaps that he is not special to God and is undeserving of having his issue healed permanently?
The truth is that God loves everyone equally. He is not discriminating between his children or judging anyone unworthy!
God, being all Love does not take anything away from us. It may not feel this way at times because we believe otherwise; because we have accepted garbage as truth.
Nevertheless, with EFT we can release the emotions stuck in the body that support these beliefs. Without the negative emotions, false beliefs have no legs to stand on.
Clearing those unconscious beliefs (garbage) is critical in helping us to see ourselves as God created us (gold): trustworthy, inherently valuable and loving.
Everything EFT digs up is really to transform it into gold!! Granted it can feels like garbage when it shows up, but it is valuable because it needs to be seen to be released.
It is our ticket to freedom and puts us on the road to rebuilding trust in all of our relationships and with our Higher Self.
I can’t help but feel deep gratitude for that service light showing up, twice. It helped me to release distrust and a big misperception about God.
Was digging and going through the garbage worth my time? Definitely yes! I feel like I found GOLD!
Interested in rebuilding trust in relationships and trust in God-Source with the guidance of an experienced and Certified EFT Practitioner? Click EFT phone, or Zoom/Skype session.
Perhaps you prefer a "hands on" approach or a "do it yourself" deal? I
also offer a condensed, online EFT Seminar which consists of four
classes to get you started and put you on your way with EFT.
Go to EFT Seminars.
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"I bought a copy of your book... I just wanted to say thank you for writing it. I was pretty desperate to feel better physically and emotionally when I got it, and since, I've experienced profound emotional healing. Thank you for giving me the healing messages I needed to hear, like a kind, loving mother."
by Ilona Z.
Reading Chapter 3