can I help mom

by miriam hall
(christiansburg va)

My mom is 85 years old, she had shingles and lost her eye sight in one eye, she has been married 3 times, the first when she was in her late twenties,her husband was in the military and was gone for 3 years, she got pregnant with me while he was gone, she has never admitted this she still says he is my dad but I know different, and she married again when I was 6 he died about a year later suddenly, she never talked about him, the rest of my life it was like he did not happen even though they were happy together but they were both alcoholics, he was very good to me, she married again about 5 or 6 years latter,i married at 17 and left home mom worked in a dry cleaners, most of her life and in a motel housekeeping,she talked about everybody she cused anybody who she did not like,she ran around with a lot of men she continued to drink and when she got older she developed a fear of everything, she lived in a small town all her life,she did not have a lot to do with her family,she left home at 14 and started working and i believe she wanted to do better than her family they were very poor but she left because she was mad at her mother and her brother she never wanted to listen to anyone it made her feel like they were trying to control her even her husbands, she did not know how to be a family, but other than her drinking she was a good mom she worked and always kept a place to live and food on the table,I believe the fear came when she got older and she wasnt as attractive, she had always used men to get money and she would run any water , she would not flush the toliet she would burn candles because she was not going to ask for help from anyone now she is in a nursing home ans she has some dementia, she seems so unemotional always has,not affectionate.Mom has run through life and does seem to understand the season she is in, in life she always wants to go back to work, it is like she had blinders on and did not see the changes around her and never developed and relationships, she has no close friends, This is sad and I want to do what ever I can to make her last years the best.